We are all taken for granted once in a while. And sometimes we don't even mind it, if it is done by someone whom we love and is really close to us. But if it is a regular thing that keeps on repeating itself, it surly hurts and irritates. This world is full of people who are complaining about been taken for granted by their bosses, colleagues, spouse, friends, brother and sisters and even by their own children. They hate it, but never really are able to change it.
If observed carefully, one can easily see that these people are nice and decent; In fact at times too nice and decent. They are soft spoken, willing to please, helpful, sincere and hardworking. In general other people like them and even praise them, behind their back. But they some how never manage to get the type of recognition and reward from where it really matters.
A lady, who loves her husband and children, works hard the entire day, takes best care of them, is an ideal wife and mother in the eyes of entire neighborhood never gets so much as a simple thank you from her husband and children. They may say they love her but never really appreciate the effort she makes. An employee who is loyal, talented, works hard and at times even pulls the impossible, is lauded by some of the colleagues, but does not seem to get the promotion. It is someone else who gets the raise and promotion and soon the person in question finds himself or herself working under a person who is nearly half of him or her in qualification, experience and talent, and even whose loyalty is questionable.
Does it seem your story or someone whom you know? Isn't it too common? The answer probably will be 'Yes.' Now, you may ask, that why is it that a few get all the recognition and reward, even though they do not deserve. But then most others are taken for granted, in one way or other? Can this be changed? If yes, then how?
It is often not important what we do, but how we do it that catches people's attention. Here are few of-beat strategies that can make people recognize your efforts. They almost always work for me and they will do for you as well.
Work smart not hard: Do you slog away when others are enjoying themselves, whether at home or at office? Does everyone know that you will do everything if they don't do it? You got to change that. Call others and give them responsibilities and deadlines. Keep following up and ask them about progress. Demand explanation for non-compliance. Act bossy if required, and see the difference in just a few days. People may not like you for this in the beginning but they will soon start showing respect and stop taking you for granted.
Promote yourself: How will everyone know how hard you work and what are your achievements if you don't promote yourself. You do not have to hire an advertising agency, but present your achievements in front of those who really matter. Tell your family members about the great job that you have done for them. After every achievement, tell your bosses what you have done, either verbally or by submitting a report. If you think action and results speaks louder than words, you are mistaken. No one is observing performing all that action, and there are many others waiting to steal your credit away from you.
Don't just help but oblige: It is good to help other people. Unfortunately in today's world people take your goodness for guaranteed and start taking advantage of it. So, help people but show as if you are doing it as a favour and making an exception. Make them feel obliged and indebted to you. People may call you a snob, but let them. It is much better than been taken for granted.
Be assertive and stubborn to prove a point: People who are not able to speak their mind out clearly and forcefully are always taken for guaranteed. Be assertive when putting forth your opinion and point of view. Listen to others and pretend as if you do not understand what they are saying, and keep repeating your point. People may call you stupid but they will take you much more seriously.
Be aggressive & passionate: By asking you to be aggressive I am not asking you to fight with people. But, set aggressive goals, work aggressively and passionately. Aggressive attitude to a certain level creates positive energy that other people feel. And this energy helps people to recognize you and your work.
Develop some nuisance value: It is always not nice to be nice. Let people know that you too can get upset and can call a spade a spade. Be polite, tactful and diplomatic but speak out your mind. Tell people clearly what you feel. They will never take your feelings and emotions for granted.
Be growing and ready to move on: Obviously everyone will take you for granted if they develop a feeling that you are stuck with them and you are not going anywhere. So, keep growing. Make continuous improvement in yourself. Develop better attitude, work on your self image, and add value to your skills and qualifications. Show the preparedness to move on and see the people's attitude towards yourself change.
After word: All this that I told you above may not come to you very naturally at first. But still make conscious efforts for sometime till it becomes your second nature. However, it does not mean that you will employ these strategies indiscriminately. These strategies are like medicine and must be used only if the symptoms exist.
Moreover, you need to continuously work on improving your self image. People taking you for granted, your lack of assertiveness, being meek, doing all the work by yourself, people not taking you seriously etc. are usually manifestation of poor self image. Once you attain a healthy self image, you will no longer need to consciously employ any strategies for getting recognition, but you will get it automatically.
It isn't about finding yourself... It is about creating yourself.
No comments:
Post a Comment